Rush-Rush

When the nose started to leak last nite, the head began to throb too. I popped one Chlormine and two Panadols before going to sleep. I thought sleep could come easily for me because Chlormine has got a drowsy effect. But I thought wrong. I tossed and turned in bed till past midnite. I couldn't remember when exactly I fell asleep but I woke up at 5.20am with a heavy head.

After sending all the kids to school, I told Dear that I needed to sleep very badly. He let me nap and he napped for a while too. At 10am when he left for work, my eyes were barely opened...Aaargh! At 10.30am, he sms-ed me, asking me to collect our Acer CPU from the service centre. When I wanted to continue napping, a client called. In the end, I couldn't sleep anymore and decided to shower again before fetching Aryna.

Aryna smiled her sweetest smile when I told her that we were going to Jurong Point for lunch cos I had stuff to buy and bills to pay. I would say that she is a very lucky child cos when she finishes school at noon, I would always take her to Jurong Point for lunch and jalan-jalan while waiting to fetch her brothers at 1.45pm. That short but frequent outings to Jurong Point are truly precious to me. That is the time when I bond with her. Juz me and her; no sons around. It's fun to talk girly stuff like hair-clips, clothes, handbags, Winx Club, Barbie, etc...So, juz now, we went to Pizza Hut again. Aryna loves the Trio Cheese pizza; I love the free-refill of Pepsi. Often, the personal pan pizza will be shared between mother and daughter cos she would eat only one slice but she'll finish up the cream soup and a loaf of garlic bread.

After lunch, we bought food for the boys and my mum. After fetching the boys, we went home. At 4pm, I sent the kids to mengaji and I drove to Acer Service Centre to collect my CPU. There was a bad traffic jam along PIE cos there was an accident. Upon reaching Acer, I had to wait for my number to be called. Sigh...It was very crowded!...When I was done at Acer, I sped back to fetch the kids from mengaji. i let them play computer games, PSP and PS2 while I went about doing laundry and ironing.

I had to cancel a sales appointment tonite cos Dear had a set-up at St Regis and couldn't be back in time for me to get ready to leave home. I didn't want to trouble my sister to look after the kids for me...This is me. I don't like to impose on others, I don't like to trouble others and I don't want to feel obligated at the end of the day.

Falling Sick

Kids' exams are over and the flu bug has decided to hang around within me. Frankly, I hate it. I simply don't like to get flu because I hate leaky nose and throbbing headache!

I'm so happy that Dear has been helping me a lot at home. It's not easy for me. I'm so used to having a maid for nine years and now, I'm maid-less. It's three weeks now but so far, Alhamdulillah, I can cope...I manage my time nicely so that I still can go to office, still can meet clients, still can go out with my close friends and most importantly, I still manage to catch a morning nap once or twice a week. The only eyesore is the basin-full of clothes that need to be ironed! This chore is never-ending because when the old pile hasn't been ironed yet, a new pile starts to stack up. My sis asked if I want to call her friend to iron at $12 per hour but I refused.

Life as a working housewife...Nobody says that it will be easy...But I shall persevere.

Passed Away In Peace

When I go to bed, I would switch my handphone to total-silent mode. No vibrations at all. Once I switch it to that mode, I will hardly look at my phone again till I wake up the next day. Somehow, last nite, juz before I closed my eyes to sleep, I felt the sudden urge to check my phone...I saw an sms.

My girlfriend's mum had juz passed away. She sent me the sms at 2250hrs to inform. I was shocked because the last time she spoke about her mum to me was juz a few weeks ago. Her mum wasn't sick, except for the fact that she had high-blood pressure, which was within control...I replied her and asked for the address and told her that I would visit her after sending the kids to school.

Dear accompanied me to Blk 933 Jurong West St 91, where the body was resting. The block is juz next to Aryna's kindergarten. When my girlfriend saw me, she hugged me and cried uncontrollably. I could feel her sadness cos her mum's death truly came as a shock to her. Arwahnya was still healthy, talking and joking hours before she passed away. What happened was she became breathless. The elder daughter called for an ambulance, told her to lie down on her bed while waiting for the paramedics to arrive. While lying down, she took one deep breath and went to sleep; or so they thought. Cos she looked like indeed she was sleeping. When the paramedics arrived, they checked her pulse, did what they could to jolt her but Allah loves her more.

Innalillahi wa inna ilaihi rojiuun...Al-Fateha buat Allahyarhamah Naharah Bte Abdullah. Semoga Allah menempatkan rohnya bersama-sama roh-roh mereka yang beriman. Amin.

Life is short. Life is unpredictable...But while you live, live it to the fullest duniawi dan ukhrawi cos life has to go on no matter what.

Buang Yang Keruh...

"Buang yang keruh, ambil yang jernih"...Satu pepatah Melayu yang penuh dengan makna yang tersirat.

Ada orang "buang yang keruh" tetapi masih terkenang-kenang dan tertenggek-tenggek di atas dahan-dahan negatif...Ada orang "buang yang keruh" dan benar-benar buang kerana merasa amat tertekan jika ingin terkenang-kenangkan detik-detik yang tidak elok.

Rukun Islam lima perkara. Rukun yang terakhir masih belum dapat disempurnakan kerana belum bersedia dari segi wang-ringgit dan kebersihan hati. Walaubagaimanapun, tak semestinya kita dah tunaikan kesemua rukun, kita jadi manusia yang perfect. Dah namanya manusia, kita sentiasa akan diuji. Diuji dari segi kesabaran, diuji dari segi persahabatan, diuji dari segi kekeluargaan, diuji dari segi nafsu, diuji dari segi kebahagiaan dan bermacam-macam ujian lagi...Aku juga manusia biasa. Aku juga melalui banyak ujian. Aku juga mempunyai banyak kesalahan. Aku pelajari dari kesalahanku dan ambil iktibar dari setiap apa yang berlaku. Semoga setiap ujian itu benar-benar mempunyai hikmah di sebaliknya, untuk menjadikanku seorang Muslimah yang lebih baik dari sekarang. Wallahu'a'laam.

To Maid Or Not To Maid?

I've been maid-less since 26 Apr 2010. The maid whom I sent back to the agency on that date was with me for less than two months. Subsequently, the next maid that I chose from the same agency, MIA from the training centre in Java. It was then that I decided that I would not want to have a maid; at least for now.

So, three days ago, an elderly ex-neighbour passed away. My sisters went to visit yesterday. The family has a maid to help take care of arwahnya when she was sick since the past eight months. Now that she had passed away, the family wants to return the maid back to the agency cos they don't need her. Kak Long asked me if I would like to take over. The maid is Indonesian, 38 years old, married with an 18-year-old son and had worked in Singapore before. Her current employer speaks all the good things about her; like she's hardworking, she's pious, she's very good, etc. For one moment, I was seriously thinking of employing her. But after discussing with Dear, I decided to abandon all thoughts of employing a maid at the moment.

I'm tired. Very tired from all the necessary household chores, the tutoring, the sending and fetching, etc. I believe I wouldn't feel that tired if I am a full-time housewife. The fact that I am still working (although at my own time, own target) tires me out easily; with all the never-ending e-mails, follow-ups, paperwork, courses, exams, etc.

There is a sister whom I have known since the early 1990s during my Goodwood Park days. We became close since 1999, when we happened to engage the same gynae. She's such a humble lady, always makes me see that although life can be sucky at times, there are others out there who lead a suckier life than me. She's in her mid-40s, has gone through, and is still going through, rough patches in life but she's always smiling...She joined Aryna and me for a rushed lunch at Swensen's yesterday cos the little princess wanted to go to Jurong Point for lunch before fetching her brothers. I spoke to her of my housing dilemma and she walked me through and brought me out of my dilemma-state-of-mind to a more positive outcome.

It's nice to have friends who truly understand what we are going through, simply because they have gone through a lot more in life than us. Every human being makes mistakes. I am no exception too. But mistakes make us learn and eventually, cause us to emerge out as someone who is stronger than before, InsyaAllah.

Mid-Year Exams

This year, all my three boys have mid-year exams. As usual, I am the busiest person because I self-tutor them. Started since two days ago, this Friday will be Afif's last paper, while the elder two still have Science paper next Monday. And that reminds me of last year...

Last year, Dear and I left for Phuket on the last day of the boys' exams. It was an impromptu decision to take a short break. Dear felt that I needed a break as I had been taking care of him pre- and post-surgery and then continued with preparing the boys for their exams. I was grateful for his concern. With the kids' blessings, we left for Phuket juz for three days...We had planned to repeat the same thing this year too, probably to Bandung or Bali. But thank God we have not bought the air-tickets yet. Cos many things happened and these were things which were beyond my control.

For now, I can't see myself travelling without the kids cos we are maid-less and do not wish to impose on others to take care of them. Speaking of maids, I'll write about it in my next entry...Someone found a new maid for me; supposedly very good, very pious and very hardworking...I have to fetch Aryna now. Will continue soon :-)

Ties That Bind

Some relationships are juz not meant to be permanent. When doubts begin to appear, any relationship can become unhealthy. I'm the kind of person who is not afraid of confrontation.

Come forward if you have issues with me. It's a shame to rely on hearsays and third-party talks. Call me sensitive cos indeed I am. I don't express out myself without any reason...When our relationship starts to show doubts, the best way is to dump the relation. No loss to me...Adios...Sayonara...Selamat tinggal.

One Mouth?

Every normal human being is created with one mouth. But this one mouth can create many evils.

People don't go through what I go through. As such, they only can do lip-service. They only know how to talk, how to comment, how to "advice", blah blah blah. If I talk without "beralas", I'm labelled as "trying to perli"...But when they talk without "beralas", they expect me to listen, swallow and juz keep quiet. Is this fair?

Well, from now on, whether it's "advice", "comments" or "ayat-ayat tak beralas" directed to me, I should juz learn to SHUT UP!